Which which there is no whicher

Many little adventures since last I wrote. There was the trip to the barber, where I had every orifice violated by the electric shaver (I politely declined the straight razor, because my skin is sensitivo. And I don't yet have Hep B). The barber, named Oscar, was very kind, but a haircut means something different here. Once he had finished my head hair, he started on my ear hair. I only have this nice, white, downy peach fuzz on my ears. Or, rather, had. But I didn't stop him- I kinda wanted to see where it was going to go. Next, the eyebrows- He ran the comb through them and buzzed off whatever stuck above the comb. He did the beard, and the front of the neck, and the back of the neck, and way down the back and even off to the shoulders where I didn't even know I had hair (thanks Dad). However, the worst was yet to come. I had that buzzer, probably three inches wide, crammed all the way up my nostril, and twisted. Remember Arnold pulling that homing device out of his nose in Total Recall? That was me, except my thing wasn't a smooth little ball- it had blades, which were slicing, and it was hot from running so long. Tears were streaming down my cheek, but I was smiling to maintain a cultural bridge. He then reamed out the little hairs and, I can only imagine, rivers of blood, with a hand towel before starting on the other nostril. Ow. But damn I look good.
Then there was our family's traditional birthday celebration for Christian, who turned 18 on Friday (we gave him a can of beer wrapped in the tattoo advertisements, which may have dropped our stock a few points in the eyes of the parents). This consists of lighting those long strings of fireworks on the patio just under his window (and ours), at 4:30 am! then the whole family barging in to his room with a guitar to sing a few songs. Later in the day, when it's cake time, as you go to blow the candles out they push your face into it. Gets 'em every time.
The Encapuchados had their parade, which was much lower key than all the hype. Really more of a frat boy parade with the whole town turned out to watch. What we saw was only some hooded guys zipping back and forth on scooters and motorcycles, wearing cheap suits with the butt cheeks cut out so that when they raised their arms in a Nixon-esque salute, the people behind them got the moon. A few had notebook paper taped to their backs, inked with little slogans or politicians' names, but it was all pretty bush league. I guess we didn't stick around long enough to see a few floats that they had made, but it certainly seemed like a political group past its prime.
Went to the beach on Sat. Black sand because of the volcanic soil, which is kinda cool, and huge waves because it's the Pacific. Took four hours by chicken bus each way, which was at least half the fun, and then we got there and just drank a few bottles of beer and ate shrimp ceviche, fried shrimp, shrimp pad thai. It was a shrimp day. The fried shrimp were amazing- smallish shrimp, fried without batter in oil which maybe had a little picante in it, and you ate the whole thing- shell, head, tail- yum. A plate came free with two liters of Gallo, the national beer (bleck, but worth it for the shrimps).
Sunday to Fuentes Georginas, a series of developed pools in the nearby mountains/volcanos, fed by hot springs. Very nice, although crowded. The spot is absolutely gorgeous, surrounded by cliffs covered in greenery and orchids, with funny birds and amazing views of the little town and surrounding farms in the valley. Afterwards we went into Zunil to find San Simon, a quirky saint/Mayan god/effigee of the Spanish conquistadors. He's this manequin, dressed in funny cloths and a cowboy hat, seated on a throne that moves from one house to another each year. You have to ask the locals where he is, and they all know and point you in his direction. If you bring him a certain kind of whiskey and cigarettes, he'll grant your more sketchy prayers without judgement. We saw a Maya woman bring her children and go through it all- put San Simon's hand on her daughter's head, his hat on her, his cane on her, all the while chanting and praying. Weird. We didn't take a picture because it cost another few Q and we didn't have any.
Looking forward to having Brielle and Susannah and Angela down here. Still learning lots of things ever day.