Chickering can suck an egg

We've been having the worst imaginable experience with Chickering, our UK health insurance through Aetna. Way back in August, we got insured with the new UK student health plan (for the bargain basement price of $3600/yr for the two of us). Soon after, we went to get Mariam's pregnancy confirmed after she missed her period. Just today, over 5 months later, they finally told us, after we called Customer Service to ask, that they ruled her pregnancy a pre-existing condition and won't cover any costs related to it. Not like this came out of the blue- we have been calling, and writing, and faxing, and calling some more, to get this thing figured out. The wording of the Summary of Benefits makes it fairly clear, that unless "service has been rendered, supplies received, or the pregnancy has been confirmed" before the date of insurance, it doesn't count as a pre-existing condition. There are secret, internal Chickering documents, I discovered in the course of one of innumerable, interminable calls to Customer Disservice, that might clarify this point, but those cannot be released to someone as insignificant as a customer. Although I would get a different answer each time I called Chickering, it was finally settled that they were simply waiting for us to return a form that listed what care we had received in conjunction with the pregnancy so this could be corroborated against a form they had sent to our doctors. If they found that we had not received care before the date of insurance, then we were good to go. Since we knew that we hadn't received care before that, we therefore proceeded confidently with the expensive hospital care. We would have preferred to hire a midwife and have the kid at home- after all, Mariam is not sick, so why should she act like a patient?- but Chickering only covers a medicalized hospital birth, so that's what we went for. We never received the first form that they allegedly sent, so we had to wait over a month for a replacement, which we promptly returned back before Thanksgiving. They didn't have that in their system until last week, at which point they wanted to send out the form to our doctor to corroborate our statements. However, knowing this would take months, I bullied the lady into faxing the form to our doctor's office, along with her fax number so that our doctor could fax the form straight back. That this was even a possibility, that fax machines existed, was a novel revelation of biblical proportions to this brainiac over at Chickering customer service. I had to call everyone, every step of the way, to double check that these douchebags were doing what they said they were doing. Finally, all the information that Chickering had been looking for to make their decision was in. Then we had to wait for the ruling, which we assumed would be favorable since they had led us to believe that all they were checking was that our medical record didn't show us receiving any care before our insurance date. That was a given, in our eyes, and they were only losing stuff and being idiots about it to stall having to cover the claims until the last possible moment, probably to wring another nickel of interest out of the money while we sat on pins and needles trying not to go crazy during what should be a time of joy (I can't even begin to fathom the nightmare of dealing with fucknuts like these if you were actually sick or suffering). Anyway, they denied our claim. When I called to find out why, they wouldn't tell me. The lady simply said I could appeal, which would take 60-90 days (bullshit, based on their track record of timeliness). I tried to explain that our appeal might be more effective if we knew why our claim had been denied, but that is way too reasonable and might give us an unfair advantage, she implied. She can't tell us anything, besides that the claim was denied. Other people we've talked to- the UK student health people, the insurance person at our doctor's office, the Kentucky Department of Insurance officer- all tell us different things, occasionally tending towards the fact that our conception date is before our insurance date, and insurance companies always use conception date. If that is the case, why don't they say so? Why isn't that written down anywhere, or told to us when we call customer service? UK student health lady read to us from last year's policy with a different company, which said something about when the condition/illness "originated." If our policy used that simple word, "originate," or "conception," then it would be much more clear that ours was a pre-existing condition. However, they didn't use that language, which would lead a reasonable intelligent person to actually believe what it says in our policy- namely, that the pregnancy be "confirmed" before the insurance date to qualify as a pre-existing condition. I don't know. It seems like something that we should hire a lawyer for, to joust over the legalese for us. All this frustration at the hands of this big company has me constantly thinking of revenge. We have just been treated so poorly, treated like we're stupid, told contradictory things every time we call, never received an ounce of sympathy from that nest of harpies in customer service. Mariam spent the whole day crying today, and that's not the first. Since I can't throw the bricks or slash the tires or rob their safes or picket their bullshit company the way I fantasize (although Chickering is right there in Kendall Square, if any saboteurs are reading...), I would love nothing more than to hire a lawyer to tear them all new ones. We're looking in to it, and to getting financial assistance, and to starting Medicaid for Mariam, and to switching to a midwife now that we have to pay for it all ourselves anyway. We'll see. Sorry for the rant- I feel a little better.